In my last post, I talked about game theory and how it informs my view of careers and business, and concluded that I need to do a better job explaining what game I am playing.
Let’s get to it!
If I have a game, it’s called Putting Your Purpose to Work. The point of the game is lifting people up to live according to their purpose, and creating conversations that help organizations change in ways that allow them to do so. Specifically, I am doing this because I know it is needed, and that people like me need it.
I work primarily with educators because we (and society) routinely undervalue what we do, and we normalize it by accepting conventional wisdom and ways of doing things that are just plain wrong. The rules, as we are taught to accept them, limit the potential of those participating in the system, by strictly defining who can or cannot play, who is allowed on certain turf, and what rules apply, whether they make sense or not. Kind of reminds you of the times in elementary school when no one picked you for kickball, right? Well, that happened to me a lot, so I stopped playing kickball.
I played by the accepted rules for a long time, and it was killing me. So I changed the game, I bought my own turf, and I’ve been giving away tickets to the game for the last two years. Attendance has been low (only about 20,000 visits over the last two years), but for most of that time, I was playing it safe (or being overly cautious and driven by fear of bankrupting my family.) I have not been jumping the gate into anyone else’s stadium, I’m not playing their game nor accepting their rules. I’m not borrowing their field, and I’ve brought my own ball. This is a different game, I’m playing to a different audience, and I intend to win. I hope you win, too.
Who has an unfair advantage in this kind of scenario? Some might argue that it’s the established system, the old guard, and those people they accept and embrace as the next era of visionaries. Me, I say “meet the new boss, same as the old boss.” That’s business. That’s institutions. That’s closed-system thinking, which assumes that the only people who can get into the game are those with a ticket, or those who jump the gate.
I don’t need to jump the gate.I have my own stadium. It’s got great loudspeakers, a few loyal fans who get me (you know who you are, and thanks!), some others who seem at least mildly intrigued by what I am doing (even those who are annoyed by it or don’t completely understand it), and the beer’s pretty good over here. (No point in owning a stadium if you aren’t going to serve good beer, I say.)
What’s your game?
Whose rules are you playing by?
Do you intend to win?
If you do intend to win, will it be at someone else’s expense?
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It’s easy to build up a decision in your mind until it’s reached monolithic heights. The more important a choice feels, and the more distinct the options you choose from, the higher the likelihood that you will feel paralyzed by it. This is especially true when you find yourself needing to choose between things you are passionate about and weigh them against the things you need to do and your available time.
More than likely, you have at least one situation in your life that tugs on you this way, and leaves you feeling that the choice is always all or nothing. I wrote about this the other day, in reference to a friend’s dilemma in setting priorities so that he could devote more time and energy to his business.
My answer to this sort of “analysis paralysis” that strikes many job-seekers and career-builders: do what the Ghostbusters always did in their movies.
People told them not to cross the beams, but they did.
Every. Single. Time.
And the ghosts went away.
Nothing in life is all or nothing.
What if you took your multiple passions out of the different corners of your career and crossed those beams?
Could you bring your colleagues into your life, your family into your work, and find ways to combine your personal interests with your career goals?
Could you really have it all?
And if so, why are you spending your time and energy fretting over a choice, rather than looking for ways not to choose?
When you follow your passions, you get others to help carry your load, and get the “likable authority” points that come with bringing the right people together. It’s a different kind of wealth that you build when you do this. It’s not money, but you will get steady, purposeful work and hopefully, time to nurture your ideas more fully.
So cross the beams already. I double-dog dare you!
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One of the hardest things to do in any job search process is to be yourself while also being polished, on point, and focused on delivering a targeted message to your potential employer about how you will are the perfect “fit” for an open position.
Clients sometimes ask me how they can convey their sense of purpose and desire for a position without coming across as phony. My answer: quit trying to prove yourself and spend your time being yourself.
The logic behind this is simple enough. If you conveyed your qualifications well enough on your resume, cover letter, and other application materials, then the interview is less about that and more about two things:
1. Whether you presented your qualifications accurately, and
2. Whether you will fit into their organizational culture.
If you have presented your qualifications accurately, you do yourself a disservice by presenting yourself as someone you’re not. So try as much as you can to go into each interview “comfortable in your own skin,” and let the details settle themselves.
The truth you must be most comfortable with is that the most qualified candidate on paper often is not the successful candidate in the process. By the time an interview happens, you have been given a so-called “equal opportunity” to state your case, and the assumption you should take into each interview is that all candidates meet the basic qualifications for the job. This will allow you to meet your potential employer on a more equal footing. A good job match will be dictated as much by your potential fit into an organizational culture, or your ability to navigate the nuances of such a culture, in an emotionally intelligent and productive way, as it will be about your actual skills, experiences, and qualifications.
Understanding organizational culture is tricky. You must be ready to separate your interest in a particular job from your possible fit, and accept that a rejection doesn’t label you as “unqualified” for that type of position, or even for another position at that institution. It just means that wasn’t your day, and that wasn’t the job.
This will allow you to move on toward exploring other opportunities, and clear the path to a position and an organizational culture that will hopefully be a better fit for not only your qualifications but for you.
My five-year-old son Brendan is a real fan of a new show on Disney Junior called Jake and the Neverland Pirates. Set in the magical world of Neverland, home to Tinkerbell and Peter Pan, the show follows three young pirates (Jake, Izzy, and Cubbie), as they regularly foil the evil plots of Capt. Hook and his sidekick, the bumbling Mr. Smee.
I’m not usually one to like the retelling of classic stories from my youth, but I have to admit that I have a great deal of affinity for Jake and his cohorts, mostly because my son enjoys the show so much.
The other day a friend asked me if I ever thought about when children lose their sense of imagination. He remarked that he could keep himself occupied and happy with the simplest of things when he was a child. And I know this to be true, because it was true for me, and because I see it daily with my two children.
It may seem cranky for me to say this, but I think the world beats it out of us and makes us too serious for our own good. I spend quite a bit of time trying to explain things to my son, that seem so intrinsic to functioning as an adult, that I regularly find myself questioning the logic of adult behavior, and the ways in which we cling to procedures, policies, rules, and the ever-present “just the way things are.” And I realize then that I am spouting nonsense. And the saddest thing about it is that this nonsense is very much the accepted status quo.
As a coach, one of the most important things I do is to help each client imagine what aspects would be included in their perfect career. And often what this means is that we return, together, to childhood, and spend some times exploring what they enjoyed doing most, what they were most interested in, and what kind of people and places they were most comfortable being around. In many of these explorations, I have found that clients have abandoned doing what they most enjoy in pursuit of material gain, increased influence in their field, titles, positional authority, control over their organizations, and when possible, their personal destinies.
The “Ah-ha” moment usually comes when they realize that their goals are complete bullshit, and that they have nothing to do with who they’re meant to be, and everything to do with a fiction and fantasy that society calls success. We work together to face each client’s fears, anxieties, and the practical, emotional, and circumstantial blocks in their path. You can only do this by picking them apart, holding them up to the light, and seeing them for what they are. Only then can a client move forward and meet himself or herself truly and deeply and genuinely, as who they are meant to be.
My friend Tommy Walker, a social media strategist I’m working with to develop a more engaging Facebook strategy, has a favorite saying: “I don’t do bullshit.”
Okay, so maybe that’s not all that original. But it is authentic. And if you’ve ever had the opportunity to speak with Tommy, to read his thoughts on his blog, or to chat with him on the Internet, you just understand the Tommy has developed and cultivated a true sense for who he is as a person, and matched that, as best he could, to a career which brings out his best.
So what are you doing to align your career with who you were meant to be?
Close your eyes. Remember the joys you had in your life. Not just the joys of accomplishment in your career, or those adult milestones that many of us strive to achieve (like getting a first job, having a first apartment, buying a house, buying a new car, getting married, having children, etc., etc.) Go back, go deep, and go long.
Then say to yourself, loudly “Yo Ho, let’s go!” And get back to where you once belonged.
Today it was my pleasure to be a guest on Dennis Charles’ new BlogTalkRadio show, “Build Your Career with Passion.” Dennis is a coach that works with recent college graduates to make successful transitions to the world of work. Through his Fourth Wave Institute, he is working on ways to help people build their careers upon the foundation of their passions.
I met Dennis through my involvement inThird Tribe, a great online community put together by Chris Brogan, Brian Clark, Darren Rowse and Sonia Simone, to help businesspeople learn to market themselves authentically and to leverage the potential of social media to expand their networks, find others with similar interests, and become more effective. Dennis is an amazing person and has been a guest host on my show a few times.
I hope you will listen to the episode and check out some of the other great interviews he is doing. I think you’ll find them very interesting and inspirational.
Work with Sean. I help higher ed professionals take control of their careers with tailored services including resume and CV development, LinkedIn profile optimization and networking strategy, interview coaching, and one-on-one career guidance.
Paralyzed in fright by a choice in front of you?
