{"id":827,"date":"2010-05-13T09:59:46","date_gmt":"2010-05-13T13:59:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/higheredcareercoach.com\/?p=827"},"modified":"2014-08-13T15:34:33","modified_gmt":"2014-08-13T15:34:33","slug":"parents-just-dont-understand","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/higheredcareercoach.com\/staging\/2913\/parents-just-dont-understand\/","title":{"rendered":"Parents just don&#039;t understand."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/higheredcareercoach.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/bigstockphoto_Balance_25446-e1266030174869.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-366 alignleft\" style=\"border: 1px solid black; margin: 3px;\" title=\"bigstockphoto_Balance_25446\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/higheredcareercoach.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/bigstockphoto_Balance_25446-e1266030174869.jpg?resize=99%2C150\" alt=\"Balance\" width=\"99\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a>An unexpected consequence of being a doctoral student and working in higher education is trying to help my parents to wrap their heads around what I am doing with my life.<\/strong> When my father introduces me to someone for the first time, its not that unusual for him to refer to me as \u201cthe perpetual student.\u201d\u00a0 My mom thinks I am the\u201dhead RA.\u201d\u00a0 While I have nothing against Van Wilder, I know that I have my life more in order than my parents believe.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe its a Millennial thing (I\u2019m right on the cusp between being a Gen X-er and a Millennial), but for the longest time it really important to me that my parents are interested in what I am doing and I want to know that they are proud of me.\u00a0 Prior to working in higher education I was a science teacher, and this was basically the ideal situation for having career discussions with my parents.\u00a0 My dad is a retired teacher and my mom is a school secretary.\u00a0 We could talk about lesson plans, the union contract, continuing education credits, and a wide range of other topics for which we were all on the same wavelength.\u00a0 My mom could easily tell her friends \u201cmy son is a science teacher\u201d with absolute conviction.\u00a0 Now that I am a student affairs professional, that\u2019s a little more ambiguous.<\/p>\n<p>Forging ahead with a career in higher education has resulted in me re-evaluating my relationship with my parents, as well as looking at how much of my identity is tied up in my career and academic goals.\u00a0 My parents and I have a good relationship, but I have learned that outside of making sure that they know I have a roof over my head and plenty of food on the table, I don\u2019t need to have their approval or support when it comes to work.\u00a0 I\u2019ve made connections with people who can play that role when my folks are not able to.<\/p>\n<p><strong>This whole discussion about my parents helps to put my career in perspective, though. <\/strong> I constantly struggle with work\/life\/school balance, and knowing that there are people in my life who are more interested in parts of my life that have nothing to do with work and school is really refreshing.\u00a0 My parents don\u2019t care about quantitative research methods.\u00a0 <em>They just care about me, and that is good enough.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_757\" style=\"width: 170px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><strong><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/higheredcareercoach.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/100_3027-e1273202235907.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-757\" class=\"size-full wp-image-757 \" title=\"100_3027\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/higheredcareercoach.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/05\/100_3027-e1273202235907.jpg?resize=160%2C133\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"133\" \/><\/a><\/strong><\/strong><p id=\"caption-attachment-757\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Bryan Koval<\/p><\/div>\n<p><strong>Bryan Koval <\/strong>holds two degrees from the <a title=\"Penn State University\" href=\"http:\/\/www.psu.edu\/\">Pennsylvania State University<\/a> (B.S. Secondary Education 03, M. Ed. Higher<em> Education 08). <\/em>He has worked in Residence Life at Penn State for 5 years, and has made meaningful contributions to projects related to living and learning communities, cocurricular learning outcomes, and resident assistant training in the department.<\/p>\n<div>Prior to working in higher education, Bryan taught 7th grade science in Harford County,Maryland. \u00a0He is currently pursuing a doctoral degree in higher education administration from the <a title=\"George Washington University\" href=\"http:\/\/www.gwu.edu\/\" target=\"_blank\">George Washington University<\/a>. Bryan writes about his experience as a working professional and full-time graduate student.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Forging ahead with a career in higher education has resulted in me re-evaluating my relationship with my parents, as well as looking at how much of my identity is tied up in my career and academic goals. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[6,12],"tags":[422],"class_list":["post-827","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-doctoral-study","category-life-purpose","tag-life-purpose"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Parents just don&#039;t understand. - Higher Ed Career Coach<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link 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