Lessons Worth Finding and Questions Worth Asking

Over the last five years, I’ve experienced a convergence of events in my personal life that drove me to consider the need to change my circumstances and with it, hopefully my personal and professional destiny. First I became a father. Then I learned that I have a neurological disorder, which affects my mobility and is aggravated by stress. Then I had a year where my whole staff hated me, and I couldn’t dig myself easily out of the personal and professional hole I found myself in. Then some things changed, and I was able to do so. Others were not able to, and chose to move on.

I took the next few years to redeem myself and to redouble my efforts to be an effective supervisor and mentor, and I feel that I was able to do so. I began researching options that would allow me to move on from Penn State and the first option was a doctoral program at the University of Georgia. I was invited to interview, but not admitted to the program. What little feedback I received amounted to the fact that I had expressed more practical than theoretical interests. It hurt at first, but I was eventually able to glean a lesson from the experience, move past it, and to start getting more specific about what other options I wanted to research.

It was a blessing in disguise, because in that exploration, I realized that my interests do not lie in the direction of teaching student development theory. I’m more interested in helping professionals understand effective practice, and effective professional involvement, so they can move forward in their careers with authenticity of purpose, and have satisfying (and balanced) careers and lives. Coming to Athens also made me realize how much I always wanted to live there, and how much better it would be for my family if I moved closer to both my parents in South Carolina, and my partner’s parents in Florida.

When I decided on pursuing coaching as a career choice, I initially wanted to do life and transition coaching for college students, and transition coaching for their parents, because I had been really troubled by Millennial students and their helicopter parents. I also had an interest in doing career coaching for persons working in higher ed, because I could have used it going into the field, and later as a supervisor and member of the central management staff for Residence Life at Penn State. I know for a fact that many of my staff (students and professionals) needed it, but that as a supervisor, I could only give them so much, because of the power differential involved in supervision. I believed that, as an experienced professional with a lot of great experience as a supervisor, as a candidate, and a member of search and interview committees, I had a unique set of gifts to put to work, and that by doing so, I could make a difference in the careers of many people. So I rolled the dice, left my job, and gambled that I would be able to pull together these convergent ideas into a coherent business concept.

In my mind, I have all the pieces tied together and it makes sense. But I haven’t explained it so well, and it’s clear that I need to, so that people won’t get confused or stay confused, because it’s not enough to explain the convergence, you have to explain the separate ideas before you show how they all come together. As a storyteller, I’ve always understood that. So I’m going to back up a little bit, as I have been doing so far this week, and tell you, as best I can, my story.

I’m not doing this so just to talk about myself. In putting forth my life examples, I’m hoping that you will relate, and see, in your circumstances, some parallels, and find some lessons you can apply to your life and career.

In every story, there are lessons worth finding and questions worth asking. And we can definitely learn more if we have some conversations. So please comment freely and share your story, ask questions, and tell me and your fellow readers your story and more about the points of convergence where you exist, operate, and feel most comfortable.