by sean@higheredcareercoach.com | May 19, 2011 | Career Skills, work/life balance
Paralyzed in fright by a choice in front of you?
It’s easy to build up a decision in your mind until it’s reached monolithic heights. The more important a choice feels, and the more distinct the options you choose from,
the higher the likelihood that you will feel paralyzed by it. This is especially true when you find yourself needing to choose between things
you are passionate about and weigh them against the things
you need to do and
your available time.
More than likely, you have at least one situation in your life that tugs on you this way, and leaves you feeling that the choice is always
all or nothing. I wrote about this the other day, in reference to a friend’s dilemma in setting priorities so that he could devote more time and energy to his business.
My answer to this sort of “analysis paralysis” that strikes many job-seekers and career-builders: do what the
Ghostbusters always did in their movies.
People told them not to cross the beams, but they did.
Every. Single. Time.
And the ghosts went away.
Nothing in life is all or nothing.
- What if you took your multiple passions out of the different corners of your career and crossed those beams?
- Could you bring your colleagues into your life, your family into your work, and find ways to combine your personal interests with your career goals?
- Could you really have it all?
- And if so, why are you spending your time and energy fretting over a choice, rather than looking for ways not to choose?
When you follow your passions, you get others to help carry your load, and get the “likable authority” points that come with bringing the right people together. It’s a different kind of wealth that you build when you do this. It’s not money, but you will get steady, purposeful work and hopefully, time to nurture your ideas more fully.
So cross the beams already. I double-dog dare you!
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by sean@higheredcareercoach.com | May 17, 2011 | Career Skills, life purpose, work/life balance
I recently had a discussion with a fellow coach as part of the Third Tribe Marketing membership site, which connects small businesses with some of the top minds in social media and marketing to help them learn ways to build authority, increase their credibility and get more business.
The discussion was about saying “no” to some commitments so he could concentrate on his business. He was having an awful time doing so, and I could definitely relate to where he was coming from. Like most of the people I work with (and like me!), he has multiple passions and only so much time.
His question was about deciding what to quit and when to quit it. I get it. When you have a business, and want to have a life beyond it, it makes no sense to keep on doing the wrong things, or dividing the time you need to spend on the right things. I suggested that maybe he just needed to re-balance his priorities.
There was a time when I worked at Penn State’s Smeal College of Business, and was responsible for running a student organizations office that supported 32 student groups. I advised four of these directly, and assisted the other 28. I also coordinated the work of the committees for all of the college’s major student events, including a scholarship committee, two award ceremonies, and all of the major leadership and professional development events.
I left that job and went back to Residence Life. In my first position back in that department, I supervised professional staff, planned training events for student and professional staff, created publications, and was responsible for 11 major department tasks and committees, including oversight of a resident assistant training class with 4 to 7 instructors and 70-120 students each semester; admissions events; orientation; welcome week; assessment and writing the department’s annual report. I had so many things on my plate that half the time I met with
my supervisor, we talked about what I had been doing lately, and the rest, we tried to click through in our heads all the things I was supposed to be doing, because neither of us could keep up.
Now those were busy jobs. Many people have busy jobs, and those were the duties. I knew that going in. These types of positions are classic student affairs jobs…you
wear many hats, largely because of interesting
institutional priorities and
lack of funding to actually hire an appropriate level of support staff.
Anyway…
What I did in my “free” time was up to me.
Did I relax?
You tell me. Here are a few things I spent my “free time” doing during that period:
- Serving on the “nominating committee” for my church to recruit people gullible enough to want to be on the board, or who could be guilted into it.
- Acting as student outreach chair and advising the Penn State student group related to the church (yeah, another group!)
- Teaching a 26-week sex ed course at the church for junior-high-level kids (10 of them) where they learned about not only plumbing and mechanics, but assertiveness skills, understanding sexual orientation issues, and discussing their values and the role they play in decision-making. (Did I mention this was an unpaid position? My standing joke is that this is about as close as an Unitarian can get to sainthood!)
- Serving on the fundraising and events committee for a new non-profit that saved an old movie theater and converted it into a performing arts center. In this capacity, I helped plan a couple of concerts, a 5K and a certified mile race, and helped with open houses during the yearly arts festival.
- I also took up gardening, got back into home brewing, and helped found a home brewers club. I was secretary of that group for a while.
Somehow I fit it all in. And for a while, it was okay. Then, I got promoted, had a different scope of responsibility, and my wife and I started a family. I supervised more people, had fewer work responsibilities, but ones with more impact on other people, and I had to learn to say “no” and to let some things go, and scale back commitments to others.
Eventually, I hit a wall with stress, being a new dad, and dealing with everyone else’s needs for my time and energy. I had a health issue crop up, and things got much harder to deal with. Only then did I learn to say “no.” It’s not selfish to take a step back if you need to do so. At least not in the unhealthy, guilt-wracking way most people think about it. Instead, think of it as “self-preservation,” because that’s what it is, really.
I won’t say I did it without encouragement and support from the right people. First, my family. My wife
Sarah insisted I stop ignoring my obvious health issue and go to the doctor. My doctor insisted I see more doctors. And
my supervisor told me in a meeting that she would support a personal leave of absence. I resisted for a while, but eventually realized I needed to step off the stress train and go look at some trees and grass and get right with how I was taking care of myself and with how I was viewing my work, my life, the world, and my place in it.
Here’s how I did it.
- I started saying “I have some other things to deal with right now, and I want to take some time to sort out my personal priorities, so I will be scaling back some duties and not continuing with others.”
- I offered to help with an orderly transition of tasks during my leave, and I did so.
- Then I left, turned off the cell phone, stopped looking at work e-mail, and spent a few days all by myself at a state park lodge in Berkeley Springs, West Virginia. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. Looking back, I realized I hadn’t given myself enough opportunities for comparison.
That period let me adjust my approach to work and family, and my priorities started to settle themselves out. I spent more time developing my staff, and less time criticizing them; more time talking with students instead of just at them and near them, and I started going home on time to be with my family, work in the garden, enjoy downtime, and think about the kind of person I wanted to be. It led me onto a path toward coaching, and eventually to this group.
Here’s where you have to be bold and unapologetic. I was established at Penn State, and comfortable. You might even say
complacent. I’d
“topped out,” and after a few searches for the next rung up the ladder didn’t work out, I realized several things about my situation that I hadn’t reflected on enough. First, my opportunities to move up internally, which had been regular and self-sustaining for almost 15 years, dried up. Second, I had moved through the hard transitions of the previous couple of years, and was in good stead with my colleagues and supervisor. Third, the organization was most comfortable with me at the place in the organization I held at that time, and both of us were losing out on growth opportunities because of it.
That’s when I realized my priorities were hopelessly out of sync with where I wanted to go in my life and career. So I took a leap of faith, and went there anyway. It meant leaving my job, moving away from a place I had called home for 15 years, and making new friends. I left at a weird time of the semester (about 5 weeks before Winter closing.) I didn’t want to leave then, because of the weird employment gap it left, and how some people would interpret it. But we had bought a new house, had a buyer for the old one, and I really didn’t want to move from Pennsylvania in December, anyway. So I planned my transition as cleanly as I could, left the lines of communication open, and stepped boldly into creating my own life and career.
I realize that for many, this would have been completely insane. For me, it was only mildly so. I had savings and investments to lean on, the support of my family, and a plan B. (I moved to a college town just in case I needed a more stable stream of income, and I keep the lines of communication open with my old colleagues, supervisor and references, in case I need to get that next job.)
I’ve concentrated my efforts on being recognized as a likable authority in relation to higher education careers. I’m learning to provide content that enhances that reputation and build
testimonials that will speak for me. I know I talk too much and that it annoys some people. I can only say I’m working a little on it, and the rest is just who I am. If you respect the value of my advice, knowledge and skills you’ll move past it. What content “expert” isn’t a little bit of a pain in the ass every now and again?
But I’ve digressed, so let me return to you and hopefully help you to focus your efforts:
My questions for you are these:
- If you can’t fit your priorities into your life, is it your life or your priorities that are the problem?
- How could you re-order them without “throwing out the baby with the bath water?” My bet is that you can. And if you are going to get where you need to get, you must.
- So which needs and priorities are you going to feel worst about not meeting: yours, or those of others?
- What’s the role of faith (in yourself, or something greater, or both) in your career? And how do you know when it’s time to “take a leap?”
The other truth you need to embrace, if you are to move forward, is that the world doesn’t rest on your shoulders. The programs you support will go on, if people are committed to them. You can still be involved in a lesser role if you want to be. You can do your own thing, without walking away mad, or burning the bridge behind you.
To think any less is to imprison yourself by meeting someone else’s expectations. Let them go. Focus on your own. You deserve to be happy and get where you are going.
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by sean@higheredcareercoach.com | May 13, 2011 | Interview Tips, Job Search
Phone interviews are known to create anxiety similar to that experienced by teenagers waiting for an answer from a potential prom date. Symptoms may include sweaty hands, shortness of breath, confusion about what to expect from the conversation, babbling, long pauses, tangents, and the complete loss of reasoning skills. How you handle the conversation once you answer the phone may even determine whether you go to the big dance.
10 Tips for Setting Aside Your Phone Interview Hang-ups
- Clean up. (Both yourself and the area where you will be while taking the call.) Take a relaxing bath or shower beforehand. You’ll feel better. Make sure the table or desk where you are taking the call is clean and organized. Be a little obsessive-compulsive: if you plan to refer to notes or your résumé, arrange them in the way you hope to refer to them. Use post-it notes or notes written in colored pen, or color-code text on the documents before you print them out. This is an occasion when over-compensating and over-organizing is easily forgiven, and when it’s okay to sequester yourself for a while and banish the cat and the kids from your immediate area.
- Dress up. You’ll feel more confident and professional. While your pajamas may be comfortable, they are not business apparel. Treat the interview like a business meeting. It is one-a sales meeting. Would you buy stock in a company from a guy in bunny slippers who hadn’t shaved that morning? Yeah, I wouldn’t, either.
- Stand up. Surely you’ve heard the term “thinking on your feet?” It refers to having the ability to speak extemporaneously in front of an audience. The phone interview is an improvisational dialogue, and you are center stage. You’ll feel more engaged, and standing will force you to stay engaged in the conversation. It may also give you more surface area to work with as you refer to your notes. You can tape your résumé, cover letter and notes up at eye level, and spread out talking points on a desk in front of you. You should get a headset (affiliate link) to allow you to move around and talk with your hands.Who doesn’t love that?
- Speak up. If your phone interview is with more than one person, you should expect it to be conducted over a speakerphone. This isn’t always the case, but if the screening committee is vetting multiple people in a short period of time, scheduling a room and doing several interviews at a time makes sense. Since you don’t have any idea whether they can hear you well, speak clearly (a headset with noise cancellation can help quite a bit with this), ask early on whether they can hear you, and pace yourself. If you are talking with five different people, you have five different approaches to taking notes, listening skills, and filtering out distractions. Get feedback early on and adjust your volume, tone, and pace as needed.
- Wait Up. (Sorry, bad grammar! I grew up in the South, and we “up” all sorts of terms. It drives my wife Sarah crazy, because she was raised near Detroit, and they say things like “wait” and “put that away” instead of “wait up” and “put that up.” She calls Coke “pop,” too, and well, that just ain’t right.) But, anyway…in this context, I mean pace yourself so you don’t lose your interviewer(s), pause periodically to take a breath, give them a second or two (or longer) to catch up. People comprehend after they hear and process. Allow them time for at least a little of both.
- Shut up. And by “shut up,” I mean “be comfortable with silence.” You’re allowed to process, too. You don’t have to immediately answer each question. If you need a second to process, ask for one. If you can’t answer a question, ask if you can move on and come back to it later. Most interviewers will understand, and appreciate the opportunities they’ll have to cover required ground. If they don’t get answers to some key questions, they may end up liking you, but having no basis for inviting you to campus over another candidate. Don’t let wordiness scuttle your candidacy. Do yourself a favor, and enjoy the silence.
- Listen up. Nervousness often compels people to spend too much time “in their head” rather than in the conversation. If you aren’t listening, you may be constructing the perfect argument to a question other than the one being asked. Listen actively and effectively.
- Finish up. Try to have a beginning, middle and especially an end to each of your major talking points. And plan a summary statement about why you are a good fit for the position, that will allow you to gracefully close out the interview and leave the screening committee feeling they have a good handle on who are as a person and about your viability as a candidate.
- Look up. In her wonderful Inaugural Poem “On the Pulse of Morning,” Maya Angelou wrote about having the grace to look up into the eyes of others to simply say “good morning.” There’s a powerful idea of kinship in that poem. It’s about greeting people warmly, appreciating our common bonds, and looking forward with hope. Do this, and you will likely have an open door and a friendly face or two on the other side if you ever cross paths again. Even if the interview didn’t go quite as planned, or you didn’t get the feedback you were hoping for (it’s hard to really know, without the visual cues you get from people’s facial expressions and body language), end the interview on a hopeful and cordial note. Sometimes an opportunity isn’t the right one, or a day just isn’t “your day.” You never know when the right opportunity will come up, or who will be on the other end of the phone line or interview table, when that opportunity arrives. End warmly and you will leave your options open.
- Follow Up. How to do this the right way was covered in this previous article. So please read it and use the advice in that post guide you as you keep tabs on your opportunities.
If you have an upcoming phone interview, good luck!
If you still aren’t ready, one of the services I offer are customized mock interviews. I use both common questions and some tailored to your specialty and level of experience. The interview usually takes about 30 minutes, and I record the mock interview and the feedback session which follows (30-45 minutes) and send you some personalized feedback and tips, as well as an .mp3 of the interview. Please contact me if you would like to learn more or schedule a mock interview.
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by sean@higheredcareercoach.com | May 12, 2011 | Job Search
When the phone doesn’t ring after you think a job interview went well, you might as well be in your own personal hell. The silence can be deafening, but it’s usually soon replaced by the incessant chatter of your worst critic (the person staring back at you each morning in the mirror!)
It’s important that you don’t get in your own way at this point of the process, because no answer is not the same thing as the answer “no.” If you drive yourself to distraction, or worse, drive the interviewer to distraction in the way you follow up, that rejection may become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Here are some practical tips to deal with the anxiety that comes with waiting for an answer after a job interview, to help you keep your eyes on the big picture. The right job is waiting for you–whether it’s the job you just interviewed for is beside the point.)
Follow Up with the Hiring Coordinator (Diplomatically!)
- E-mail a brief thank-you to the hiring coordinator and others who assisted with your job interview
- If you didn’t get to ask about timeline, inquire about it in the e-mail to your main contact
- For the first week or two after your job interview, e-mail contact is best.
- After two weeks, if you’ve heard nothing, call the hiring coordinator.
- Reiterate your interest and ask about the timeline (or, if they told you one, ask if it has changed since you last inquired.) It’s possible that other job interviews had to be rescheduled or that other candidates cancelled, and this can postpone the decision date.
Don’t Get Disappointed Until There is a Reason to Be Disappointed
- Colleges and universities are intrinsically bureaucratic, and this slows down many processes. Remind yourself that not hearing back quickly could be a result of this, and not due to rejection.
- Don’t tie yourself to the whipping post. You’ll need your self-esteem if you want to keep moving forward. Not getting a particular job doesn’t mean you aren’t qualified. Not hearing back doesn’t mean you didn’t get a job, either. So letting bad self-talk and self-criticism drive you crazy doesn’t solve anything. Don’t do it!
Whether or Not You Hear Back, Move On
Make sure you read that right. It’s not a typo. I did say “whether or not you hear back,” rather than “when you hear back,” because the reality is that some institutions and hiring agents don’t call applicants they rejected right away, and others don’t call at all. There could be other reasons for this. For example, they could still be interested in you, but only if negotiations or a background check on the preferred candidate don’t pan out. Institutions are loath to release viable finalists after they have interviewed them and liked them. Closing out a process entirely isn’t wise, until they have a written acceptance from another candidate. Nobody likes to start from scratch if you still have candidates you have interviewed, are available, and would hire. And, of course, some people will do anything to avoid difficult conversations, so they may just send a form letter out at a later time.
The result is that these realities make moving on to the next thing the wisest choice. So after you wait a couple of weeks, make contact, and don’t get an answer (or don’t get the one you wanted), keep moving. Research opportunities and apply for them. Accept more job interviews. Relax, take care of yourself, and keep doing your current job to the best of your abilities. Don’t let rejection (or the mere threat of it) leave you waiting by the phone, despairing over your circumstances. Doing so means that you are choosing to staying stuck, and that’s no way to find your next job.
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by sean@higheredcareercoach.com | May 9, 2011 | Job Search, Negotiation
Discussing salary is easily the one part of the job search process that causes candidates universal anxiety. One of the search terms that job-seekers look up, before arriving at this site, is “tactfully asking about salary.”
Since asking about salary is such a nerve-wracking experience, here are five ways to find out about salary without asking (or at least asking outright).
- Refer back to the job posting and see if a “salary range” is indicated. Anticipate that most hiring agents will make an offer between the minimum and the mid-point of that range, with early-career candidates being offered closer to the minimum, and more experienced candidates being offered toward the mid-point. In very few cases should you expect an offer to be made above the mid-point; organizations want to hire people who can grow into the position before their salary expectations outgrow what the organization can pay. It’s a question of value: no matter how good you are in general, they have placed a maximum value on what the work at that level is worth to the organization. If you need more than that, don’t apply for the job.
- Visit the Human Resources website for the institution and see if there is a section with information about salary, compensation and benefits. In this section, search for the terms “pay scale,” “salary bands,” “pay grades,” “salary grades” and “salary levels.” If the institution has this sort of system, see if you can find level at which the position is classified; this may be listed in the posting. Public institutions are more likely to have this information posted, since many states require that information about employee pay scales be released to the public. If you do find these listed, refer back to the advice from #1 and figure the pay will be between the minimum and mid-point.
- Ask someone who works at the institution, but outside the hiring circle for the department where you are applying. If you can find such a person in the same department, or who holds (or has held) a similar position (in title or pay band), they should be able to at least give you context about what they make, and may be able to give you some context based on that experience. They may also have access to internal systems where they can see different information than the general public (like new employee manuals, benefit guides, etc.)
- Call someone at Human Resources and ask what the “typical” hiring range is for a position at that title and grade. Indicate that you believe you may be interested in the position but don’t want to waste anyone’s time (theirs or yours) by applying to a job you can’t afford to take. As long as you say it diplomatically and convey that you are asking for those reasons, you’ll likely be fine, in the eyes of Human Resources. It shows that you are a serious candidate if you do apply.
- Google it. You never really know what you might find out. Try “salary range” for “title,” and “institution,” and see what comes back. I did this for several positions and the search returned recent job listings, with salary information, a couple of perspective pieces by student affairs professionals about jobs and salaries, and one site called GlassDoor.Com, which lets you search for salaries by job title. (That would’ve been a number 6, I guess, but I didn’t want to change the title of the article.)
Whatever you choose to do, I advise against asking outright about a specific salary number, related to your candidacy, until you have been made an offer. When you are offered a job, a starting point for the salary discussion will be included in the initial offer. Don’t react to the first number you if you can help yourself. Just ask how they came up with the number, and why they feel it would be a fair offer, given your education, skills and experience. Then take some time to think about whether the offer is fair. If it is, you can take it or maybe see if you could make a counter-offer to see if you could do a bit better. But if you are happy with the salary, there’s nothing wrong with just taking it and getting to work. If you aren’t, go back with a counter offer, but be sure to base it on the value you will create for the employer (i.e., how you will earn the higher salary through hard work and productivity.
What other ways can you think of to “ask without asking?”
Some good resources to help you explore ways to approach salary negotiation:
Negotiating a Job Offer: Do’s and Don’ts
Sealing the Deal: Questions to Ask Yourself When Faced with “The Offer”
Job Search 101 Video on YouTube from USC’s Annenberg School
Interview Tip: Leave the Salary Out of It on Newly Corporate
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