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The Value of Traditions


It  has been just over a year since I left Penn State University, which had been my home for nearly 15 years. There are many things that I miss about being at Penn State, especially at the end of each semester.

Traditions are a funny thing. We value them as rites of passage to joining new community, and as part of the institutional history. Some traditions come and go, as student leaders try to define their unique legacies on campus.  So every year, around exam time, there would be study breaks, and programs with food, and stress busters, and door decorating contests, and special dinners in the dining halls.

My favorite program among these was booking a massage therapist to give students five–minute stress buster massages on one evening of the exam week. We worked with the same massage therapist every year. Her name was Angie, and I got to know quite a bit about her  during these events. We would talk about campus events, news in town, and our kids. Angie is a single mother, and a Penn State grad. She was always pleasant to work with and loved talking with all the students. In some of the areas where we would book her, the staff would simply greet her, make sure she was able to set up, and then leave. I would always stay around and visit, drink coffee and smoothies from the coffee bar in the commons, and just have a good time joking with her and the students who came by.

Now that I am down South and on my own, I find that I really do miss the traditions that I helped establish and maintain at my old school. And at times around the holidays, I feel down and a little bit alone and I really miss the sense of home those traditions gave me.

But last week was different. I have a part-time career coach position at  Wesleyan College in  Macon, Georgia, and was invited to help host a table at their annual holiday banquet.

Anderson Dining Hall is much smaller and less modern than the fancy facilities I was used to at Penn State. In this great Georgian style room's with high cathedral type ceilings and huge fireplace mantels at each end of the hall, with appropriately historic paintings mounted above them, teams of faculty and staff set 24 tables and decorated them for the students.

It was my first time in a college dining hall since leaving Penn State, and I realized quickly how much I missed being a part of the campus community. It's clearly an event that faculty and staff enjoy just as much as the students. Tables are hosted by teams of two faculty or staff members, and each table has a theme. Since I volunteered last-minute and was matched with a faculty member I have yet to meet, our theme was  “Christmas."  Really original, huh?  we had very simple decorations, bought hastily at Wal-Mart about an hour or two before the event–little clear candy bags with penguins on them, wearing Santa hats;   filled with cookies and candy, and finished off with a novelty swirly straw that had either Santa or a polar bear on them. Other than that, we had cardboard Christmas trees and glittery stuff.

I met my faculty partner, Dr. Karen Huber, a professor of history. Our table was basically assigned to students who had not registered early enough to be assigned another table. We went about assembling the candy bags and decorating our table and then joined the other faculty and staff to eat dinner in another dining room. At the end of the meal, we received our aprons and returned Anderson Dining Hall, as they opened the doors to receive students.

We were eventually joined by seven students and joined the rush of other faculty and staff to the kitchen for platters of turkey, dressing, squash, mashed potatoes, green beans, cranberry sauce, and bread. We served each student personally and made conversation with them about school, their interests, and their holiday plans. After clearing the main course from the table, the lights were darkened in the hall, and the foodservice staff rolled out carts loaded with the desert for the evening, Bananas Foster, over vanilla ice cream. All in attendance watched with eager anticipation as the bananas were flash caramelized with burning rum,  and the glow of bluish flame lit the room.

It was a festive end to my first semester of contract work for this small women's liberal arts college, which had welcomed me and made me finally feel at home again. Penn State had been my home for nearly 15 years, and I had known the comfort that comes with familiarity and tradition. There have been times over the last year when I have questioned whether I would ever have that feeling of belonging again.

I think that this is the feeling that many students come to campus with–a loss of home, friends, connections, and belonging. It serves as a great reminder that student affairs professionals and other members of the faculty and staff play key roles in creating a sense of belonging on campus. It's no wonder, then, that many students return to their families in December, enjoy their vacation time, and return to the halls in January, saying “it's good to be home!”

What traditions have you helped establish on your campus?

What role do you play in making your students feel at home?

And what traditions have helped you feel at home on your campus?

Please share your thoughts in the comments section. I'd love to hear what others are doing around the country. Happy holidays to all, no matter your personal traditions, beliefs, or hopes for the new year.

This Week on the Podcast: The Millennial Journey, Mind-Mapping, Who-Dos and More

This Week on the Podcast: The Millennial Journey, Mind-Mapping, Who-Dos and More

This Friday on the Higher Ed Life and Careers Show, Life and Career Coach Sean Cook will be joined by special guest Andrew Henck who is tweeting ideas & thoughts on leadership, nonprofits, higher ed, politics, social media from a Gen Y perspective as @MillennialTweet and blogs about them on http://themillennialjourney.wordpress.com We’ll be talking about a variety of college transition issues, his blog, and the importance of the “bookends” of the college experience…transitioning to college from high school, and out to the wider world upon graduation.

I’ll also be talking a little about mind-mapping and revisiting last week’s episode with Mark Dykeman of the ThoughtWrestling blog. Earlier this week, I announced a mind-map-your-job-search contest to get your ideas on how you could use mind-mapping to plan your job search or your long-term career plan. I’ve decided to extend the contest due to low participation so far. You can sketch out your plan on a napkin and scan it in, do a Prezi, do a document, or something else. Do it your way, and send me the document or a link to wherever you have it posted on the web. I’m looking forward to seeing what ideas people have out there, and giving away a copy of Mark’s excellent e-book: Unstuck, Focused and Organized (affiliate link.)

I also plan to do a little catch up. I had chosen people to honor in September and October for my “Who-Do” awards, to recognize them for doing great things for higher ed and student affairs. But I never got around to announcing the names of the people I had selected or tell you why. So I am going to do so on the show. I am sure you are all on the edge of your seats!

Lastly, I am going to discuss a little about where the blogs and coaching programs are heading in the next few months, and how I am hoping to tweak my business model so that I can offer better content, more services, and keep costs for paid services in line with demand. I have a few ideas that I think are pretty interesting, and I’d love to get your thoughts.

Please listen in from the episode page or click on the episode badge below. You can call in to ask questions or make comments to (347) 989-0055 or via Skype click-to-talk by pressing the Blue Skype “S” logo once the show is on the air.

Listen to internet radio with Sean Cook on Blog Talk Radio

Stumbling and Starting Over

Have you ever had a busy time, when you knew you couldn’t afford to miss a step? You knew it was coming, and you made a plan to juggle all your responsibilities, and you were ready, in the words of Project Runway’s infamous Tim Gunn, to just “make it work.”

And then, despite all the planning, thinking things out from different angles, and even planning the contingencies, you trip over some unexpected change in terrain….

Boom. Flutter. Fall.

Flat on your face. Ouch-ey! And you wonder whether you should even bother to get up.

Fall has been kinda like that for me, and I’m finally at a point where I need to start over, focus on some core priorities, and let some other things go (or delegate them out). This week, I’m going to tell you what I’ve been doing with my time, and ask you to help me prioritize a bit by letting me know what you’d like to see.

Part 1: The Blog(s)

Readership was pretty consistent last spring during the “placement conference season” and through the summer. July was the best month for traffic, probably in part due to the “down time” many of us experience right before the August/September madness. Since August readership has been down, and I’ve been struggling to come up with fresh content, in part because I am juggling several other projects now, including a part-time gig with Wesleyan College down in Macon, GA, a hybrid coaching course for placement season, some webinars, some guest posts for other blogs and web sites, and the beginnings of some e-books and other “informational products.” I also helped plan a half-marathon.

I thought I had some good plans for this fall, and a good idea of how to execute them. But I got stuck in a few details, distracted by other projects (who knew planning a half-marathon would require so much work?) and then thrown off by a few life events (both cars robbed in my own driveway a couple of weeks back.) So my blogs are off-track, my business has taken  a back-seat to a race,  my office is a mess, my schedule is full, and there are days I look back over my shoulder and say “where did the day go, and what do I have to show for it?”

I’ve been teetering between the two big options lately: giving up and bucking up. When I set out to do this, I had idealistic reasons in mind, and some pie-in-the-sky ideas about how I’d turn my interests and idealism into a sustainable business and lifestyle. The reality is that I’ve been stumbling through some of it, and like anyone, I could use some feedback and direction. So I’m turning to you. I’ve decided not to quit (at least not yet).

  • What do you think I should do to mold this idealistic vision of helping higher ed job seekers into a sustainable business model?
  • What interests you?
  • What would you be willing to pay for?
  • What do you want?
  • And what do you need?

Last year, I did a good job of building up some partnerships and getting guest writers. In July I had a few, and it was the best month for readership for both HigherEdLifeCoach.Com and HigherEdCareerCoach.Com. Many of my regular guest bloggers have started new jobs or had other significant changes in their lives. I’m working with a couple to find time to “get back on the horse,” but I’m also going to bring in some new contributors, so the content can be fresh, and so new voices can find a platform. As I do, I could use your input to help me prioritize any changes or updates to the blogs.

As a reader:

  • Which past guest posts have you enjoyed the most?
  • Which contributors?
  • What topics do you want to read more about?
  • And if you are a writer or a fellow coach, what would you like to contribute?
  • Should we have more video and audio posts, slideshows, resource lists, tips and tricks?
  • Do you like book reviews, product reviews, or “wish list” types of posts?
  • How often should we have new posts? I had been shooting for 2-3 per week.

Please share some ideas that will help improve the blog, either by commenting below or by sending feedback to sean@higheredcareercoach.com.

Thanks!

If You Don't Insist on Work/Life Balance, You Won't Have Any

There are some important periods of the academic year to pay attention to when you work in higher ed. Everyone acknowledges that the busiest times…welcome week, exam week, and closing for the summer… can eat up your time and energy. But it’s equally important to pay attention to the times which are slower-moving, because they sometimes represent “the calm before the storm”

When I worked in Residence Life, I always had a mid-semester slog starting around October. People were settling into routines, events were happening here and there, and my calendar would feel pretty set, with regular committee meetings, 1-on-1 meetings with supervisees, and loads and loads of busy work. It was always around this time, too, when we’d start to see roommate and neighbor conflicts pick up, alcohol poisonings increase, and psychological issues rear their ugly head.

This period between early October and Thanksgiving always felt to me like wading through molasses. When this feeling hits you (and it will, sometime between now and Thanksgiving, I guarantee it!), you may do one of two things…bury yourself in work so that you feel busy and productive, or avoid work like the plague, put off unpleasant tasks as long as you can, and just hope to ride it out until break. Neither of these methods should be mistaken for work/life balance.

Times like these call on you to stop ad pay attention to how you are balancing your priorities. If you don’t, it can be like a slow, smoldering burn, ready to flash into a fireball at any moment, and leave you ashen, grey, or even burnt to a cinder.

So do yourself a favor: Pay attention to how you are spending your time, and find some time for yourself. If you don’t insist on work/life balance, you won’t have any!

What do you do to make it through your mid-semester slog? Share your ideas, questions and thoughts in the comments below.

Photo of Sean Cook

Sean Cook, Certified Life Purpose & Career Coach

Sean Cook is a certified Life Purpose and Career Coach based in Athens, GA. Before completing his certification from the Life Purpose Institute, he earned his M.Ed. in Counseling and Guidance Services from Clemson University, and spent over 15 years various student affairs roles in higher education. He specializes in working with college students, recent graduates, and higher ed professionals, and acts as publisher for HigherEdCareerCoach.Com and HigherEdLifeCoach.Com. You can listen to his periodic podcast, the Higher Ed Life and Careers Show, at 11 a.m. Eastern on Fridays on BlogTalkRadio.com. Look for his upcoming contribution to SelfGrowth.Com’s new book “101 Great Ways to Enhance Your Career” later this Fall.

Some Quick Updates

Things have been really busy lately and so today we did not have a podcast. I will try to return next week and start getting on a more regular schedule again. I am looking for guests, but have a few tentative topics lined up. Here are a few quick updates on some things worth checking out in the meantime. Thanks for visiting!

  • I found a great new web service called paper.li that lets you enter your Twitter username or a hashtag or a Twitter list and it automagically makes an online “newspaper” out of the links shared on those streams. I set one up for my @hiedcareercoach account, and for the hashtags #sachat and #saplacement. Check them out.
  • I never announced that I did choose LeaderShape for recognition for the August Who-DO award. I am going to finally get my act together in the next week to post a “who-do” award page and to actually send out the awards to the recipients so far. I plan to announce the September Who-Do next week. There won’t be a poll this time, because I have already chosen who to recognize. Polls will continue in the near future.
  • I am planning another hybrid coaching program to begin soon, and go through the placement season. I’m collecting information on people who might be interested through a new list. If you are interested in learning more, sign up here.
  • Look for more information about webinars on resumes, networking and job interviewing soon.

How #sachat Ruined My Life

This week, the Student Affairs Twitter Chat (#sachat) passed a milestone. Now one year into its existence, it has changed how many student affairs professionals engage in conversations and professional development. I’ve been a member of the community surrounding this chat and the Student Affairs Collaborative Blog during this formative year, so I’d like to share my thoughts on how being involved in this community changed my life.

What communities are you engaged in online?

Are you using social media to engage other professionals and to network? Is it making you a better professional?